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“I’m broken.”
“I’m the only one person. I can’t do anything.”
“I want to give up.”
How Researcher of happiness Who spent a decade, studying the science of well -being, I received hundreds of similar messages. I see the same feeling that is expressed again and again – but never with it attached to it.
I want to tell you his name: demoralization. Although one word cannot change everything, it can start.
If we cannot describe our emotions – if they feel wild, forbidden and unmanaged – it can lead to Intensive experience of shame and desire to isolate yourself. Marking our feelings helps us regulate our emotional answer, contact our communities and cure.
Demoralization is characterized by two basic impressions:
Both are deeply linked, enhancing each other until you find yourself in existential despair and insulation. Usually this unfolds like this:
Stephanie Harrison with new happy
While he was mostly studied in people standing before individual problems such as severe or terminal illnessI believe we are today feel the epidemic of demoralization public Problems.
From the climate crisis to economic instability, we face problems that feel great and impossible. At any moment, they can strike personally, like thousands of people who have left homeless fires in the Los Eandles. Either tens of thousands Federal workers who have been fired without warning by losing their work, purposeand the ability to provide their families.
The conditions were ripe for this epidemic. As I detail in my bookWe live in a world that is prioritized and raised by capitalist, individualistic values, tearing us away from our relationship and encouraging selfishness as a path to personal happiness.
Demoralization forces us to retreat, further and further from what we need the most: each other. Instead we need:
A demoralization spiral can be stopped if someone appears to help you handle. It can be a therapist, colleagues, friends or family member – the one who says: “It looks hard. Can I help you find out how to deal with it?”
You need other people to bounce ideas to sit with you when you confuse, encourage you and cheer you up, and pick you up when you fall down.
Stephanie Harrison with new happy
People often tell me they have no community. I fully understand; This is a natural consequence Old happy culture – Which teaches us that we are not good enough, that we must compete, so that we always succeed and achieve (socially acceptable ways), and that we cannot count on anyone but ourselves.
You can start simply by gathering multiple friends or staff together with the intention to show each other.
Demoralization independent: You feel helpless, so you do not act that makes you feel helpless, which complicates to act.
If you feel helpless, it’s a sign to help more. This is what breaks the cycle and shows you that you really have a great power to change someone’s day for the better.
Start with the little one: make anyone smoke, give them compliment or send them a funny video. Any act of assistance can affect another person and indicates that eventually helps You.
Then move it to a new level. Think about the problem you are concerned, for example:
Enter in the search engine:
(Issue) + (my city/city/country) + organization
This should direct you to organizations that have done hard work by definition of the mission, creation of the structure, Construction relationshipand access to resources. They need hands – your hands.
Send them this letter:
Hi, I (name)! I live in (city) and passionately resolved/Speech for (Issue). I would like to give your organization (time, skills and/or money) to help you achieve your goals. Is there a way I can participate?
Then appear.
Remarling ourselves is a skill we study, showing when it is difficult to celebrate ourselves when we do it, and creating systems that support hope. In the correct conditions, the fight against the problems leads to confidence, growth and meaning.
A society full of demoralized people cannot make a happier world. But the world of people who seek to redo each other every day is already creating it.
Stephanie Harrison is the founder New happyAn organization that promotes a new philosophy of happiness. She is an expert in the field of happiness, speaker, designer and book author “New happy: Getting happiness in the world that is wrong“Follow her further Instagram. Check and LinkedIn.
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