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Even the strongest and happy relationship It can break when it seems small, unpleasant habits are left without cancellation. They are slowly composed until, suddenly, their weight seems unbearable.
When relationships end in this way, exes often break the “straw that broke the camel’s back”. How psychotherapist Anyone who worked with more than 100 pairs, I am not rumored to see some unproven behavior can lead to a wedge between partners.
Here are the five most common and annoying habits that I have seen as destroying relationships:
1. Assuming that your partner can read your mind
Instead of expressing their needs clearly, many people expect their partners to know what they need when they need it. But this is an easy way to make yourself frustrated.
Psychologists call it “the illusion of transparency,“Cognitive prejudice, where people believe that their emotions and desires are obvious to others if they don’t really.
And according to researchExaltation of how much your partner knows about your internal thoughts, can harm and resentment, because communication is the basis of strong and healthy relationships.
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In successful relationships, both partners create a safe place where everyone can express their needs and desires, not fear and shame. So, instead of waiting for your partner to pick a signal, just write it out for them: “It would be a lot for me if you helped in the dishes tonight.”
2. Standing points
Healthy relationships can quickly become acidic when the couples begin to put good deeds and mistakes. Once one or both partners “retain the evaluation”, the relationship eventually becomes competition – and unfortunately, one person is usually not short.
Research shows that tracking the one who did what is in the relationship – whether it is worries, speeches or victims – almost always leads to debt. This, in turn, can also reduce gratitude.
This Tit-Tat mentality often generates transactional related dynamics; Kindness becomes a means to achieve the goal, and it loses all authenticity. In reality, however, giving without waiting for anything in return is the best way to build a mutual, love partnership.
3. Passive-aggressive behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior This is a sure way to express dissatisfaction with the partner without solving the problem. Imagine that your partner is upset by you and chooses to report to you by holding your affection or making subtle blows.
Although this is not necessarily open, research Shows that passive-aggressive behavior often signals the dissatisfaction and resentment that cannot be ignored in a romantic relationship.
Not only is it harmful and confused, but it does not leave partners, it is impossible to move forward. Without a direct, open conversation about the problem at hand, there is no chance of solving it constructively.
4. The rear seat drives life
They are constantly saying how to deal with your work, hobbies or even your friendship, you will feel controlled and condescending. No one likes unwanted tips, and no one wants to feel what they are managed, especially in their relationship.
The pleasure in the relationship falls as soon as the partnership begins to feel the dynamics of parents and children, which quickly occurs when utility turns into eternal background control. The line between constructive feedback and hostile criticism can be easily crossed – and according to them researchThe latter can lead to a decrease in relationships.
The most important role you play as a partner is to know when offering your contribution and, more importantly, if it’s your task just to support them.
5. Listening for the sake of the answer
One of the most careless things that the partner can do is listen solely for the preparation of the next answer, not Actively listen.
And if you don’t study, study or absorb yourself in what your partner really says: research It believes that you are most likely to encounter only cheeky, not useful. The happiest couples listen to each other for understanding, not just to give two cents on the matter.
What to do with these annoying habits
If any of these habits are hit too close to the house, do not panic. You are not convicted and your relationship is not broken after repair.
Relationships take work, and this work often starts to catch yourself in an act, take a break and choose another way forward. So, if you find yourself sliding on any of these models, or perhaps even angry with your partner who exposes them: talk about it, possess them and try again.
In most cases, this is not the habit that breaks the relationship, but rather the refusal to change it.
Jourdan TraversLCSW is a psychotherapist and clinical director at IndenueTelehealth company providing online psychotherapy, counseling and training. It also helps to cure popular web mental health and healing, Therapy.org. Jourdan received MSW from Maryland University and a Bachelor of Psychology from California State University Norridge.
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