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Many of us already know the components Healthy relationship – Such things strong communicationFull honesty and unwavering commitment. But Most people really don’t know What these qualities look in practice.
As a result, pairs may be in an unhappy situation. Even worse, they do not recognize this because of unhealthy habits, such as emotional numbness, suppression or normalization of problems. If you are stuck in dating and routine, it is difficult to stop and evaluate your feelings.
How A psychologist who studies the coupleI often recommend a quick poll in pairs. If you find yourself an “no” answer to all questions, it is likely that you may be dissatisfied with your relationship but don’t understand it.
1. Do you feel that you are in the same team during the conflict?
The conflict is inevitable and necessary in the relationship. But The way you are fighting matters more than what you are fighting about. If you always feel it is you, not your partner, not the two, against the problem, you should appreciate why.
Research The conflict resolution shows that when both partners believe that the differences are resolved, they will most likely find the way forward. But you cannot rely solely on optimism; You need a common and clear strategy. Otherwise, the arguments can turn into emotional fights and over time lead to distance and grievances.
If your answer to this question is “not”, ask yourself, “What are we fighting for?” If the answer is not a relationship yourself, sit together to discuss and restore what really means being a team.
2. Can you be the most real i around your partner?
A the healthiest relationship Give you the opportunity to breathe. Laugh loudly, cry ugly, make a mess and be awesome. Research The remarks that people who feel safe, expressing themselves are true, unreasonable ways are more likely to engage in healthier relationships.
If you have to constantly remind yourself to suppress the parts of your personality, you will slowly begin to lose the invaluable parts of your personality.
If you answered “no” here, you need to pause and reflect. You deserve to be with a person who does not shudder when they meet with your most real, honest J. Great partners see it as a special privilege. It should not feel like something that needs to be “tolerated”.
3. Are they really interesting about your inner world?
In the early stages of walking, curiosity comes naturally. You want to know all about the other – what they think they see the world that makes them vote. But later this curiosity may decrease.
Research claims that curiosity is the main tool for emotional intimacy. If your partner will stop asking questions about your thoughts, feelings or impressions, they will never get acquainted with new versions of you that are born every day.
“No” to this issue may assume that your relationship is working on autopilot. A partner who really invest in you will continue to ask, continue to listen and continue to study who you are.
4. Are they accountable when ruined?
Mistakes do not matter how in the way it is done afterwards. Does your partner have your flaws and trying to do everything right? Do they shy away from responsibility, get protection and blame you?
Research When repairing conflicts, it teaches us that even the smallest gestures – acknowledging the mistake, offering sincere apologies or even the use of humor – can stop the spiral dispute. But if the accountability is missing, you will eventually start asking if you can trust each other at all.
If your partner never accepts ownership, or if they consistently make you feel “difficult” for causing concern, it can come time overloading and reconsider what you are investing. Honesty, humility and true desire to make it better to be a bilateral norm in relationship.
Mark TraversThe Doctor of Sciences is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. It has a degree at the University of Cornela and the University of Colorado Bowlder. He is a leading psychologist in IndenueTelehealth, which provides online psychotherapy, consultation and coaching. He is also a curator of the popular mental health and healing site, Therapy.org.
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