Nikki Glaser Tells Stern the Jokes She’s Breaking From the 2025 Golden Globes Set

Many expected Nikki Glaser to go into full roast mode in 2025 Golden Globesbut the comedian is getting rave reviews from critics and viewers alike for his slightly tamer opening monologue.

However, those who follow Glaser’s more savage jokes should not fear. Although it wasn’t too brutal in the room of The Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 5, Glaser did not hold back in delivering the jokes that did not make the cut during an appearance on SiriusXM’s. The Howard Stern Show on Monday, January 6.

“The Golden Globes is the only show where you can see the biggest stars and movies and television all come together with one goal – to get out of here tonight before. Dax Shepard ask them to do his podcast,” Glaser began from the list of jokes he called the “Stern file,” which he worked on in the writer’s room. “This is the last time you will all be in the same room together until Diddy’s trial.“

Stern then stopped Glaser because he couldn’t believe she didn’t make a joke Diddy.

“We were told about another Diddy that works better and that led us to more other jokes,” she replied, referring to her joke included in the broadcast; “Zendaya is here. Zendaya, you were amazing Dunes (2). Oh, my God, I woke up to all your scenes. You were so good. And Challengersa girl? It was so good. I mean, that movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card. “Oh, I’m upset too. The after party is not going to be good this year. But, we have to move on. A Stanley Tucci A freak-off just doesn’t have the same ring to it. No baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil. “

Speaking to Stern, Glaser explained why he chose the version of the joke he told on CBS: “But that one (cut) was so fun, and it was so nice to be like, ‘I’ll tell Stern anyway. .’ And that one you don’t want to do, because it’s like you’re accusing the people in that room of being part of that, and they might turn on you.”

Keep scrolling for more wild jokes that Glaser chose not to perform at the Globes:

A minute for Luigi Mangione

“Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you’d only be the second hottest hit man in America,” said Glaser before revealing, “And that one we didn’t because Luigi’s people were a big deal for a while. , and then it disappeared and it took a while for people to get it.”

Coming over the Catholic Church
“I love Conclaveand I think it has to do with the cardinals choosing a new pope. And I think everyone should see it. She was so encouraging. Honestly, it will touch you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Conclave is PG, bring the kids. They will love it. The Catholic Church will be delighted. A word of advice, you don’t need an ID to get into the Conclave after-party,” Glaser said, noting that she felt the “Catholic Church pedophile jokes” were being played out.

A twist on the Adrien Brody Joke

“Oh, look, he’s survived the Holocaust twice, Adrien Brody,” Glaser said during the show, but the original quip was more detailed. “If Adrian Brody could go back in time, he would thank baby Hitler for his career.” When Stern asked if she was heartbroken that she couldn’t deliver that quip, Glaser explained that her assistant didn’t understand it.

“My assistant is Gen Z, and she was like, ‘I don’t get it.’ And we’re like, ‘Well, there’s this whole thing where you could, if you have a time machine, you go back and kill Hitler and you stop the Holocaust.’ And so it’s like, oh, we’re going to lose a whole demo of people who don’t know. And then I said Hitler for nothing,” he said.

‘Only Murders’ Jab

“Murders only in the Building is incredible. And I think it’s so cool that legends like it Steve Martin, Martin Short, Meryl Streep, we’re still at it, putting on some of the best performances of their careers, and it’s so inspiring,” Glaser said. “And it goes to show you, you’re never too old to still need money. Guys, please don’t fight Jake Paulplease don’t do it. Why do you keep working so hard? Were you caught up in Hawk Tuah’s women’s crypto scheme?”

A Self Honoring Joke
“Amy Adams is nominated for her performance in Night Whorewhile I was totally blown away for my performance in ‘Day Slut,’” Glaser, who is known for making fun of himself on set. “The documentary category is difficult, though, by the way, Night Whore that’s what Diddy hears every night before it’s light.”

Nicole Kidman gag

“The Wild Robot is nominated tonight. And by that, I mean it Nicole Kidman after two white wines,” Glaser said, noting that she wished she could have told that joke but wasn’t sure of Kidman’s reaction. “If she’s making a face, then… (but) I think she would have been cool with it.”

Back to Ben
Affleck seemed to be on the brain. “(I almost said), like, ‘Am I going to roast or am I going to toast? You know what? I don’t roast. I’m going to toast.’ And I made all these toasts that were roasts. Like, ‘Here’s to Ben Affleck, I can’t wait to see which is Jennifer you try to ruin the next one,'” said Glaser. “And I argued like, ‘Oh, I didn’t say ruin them. I said he was trying to ruin them so it’s not against them.’ But I was like, ‘That would have been crazy.'”

Cocaine Whip
“Denzel Washington is here. The only thing that has convinced more middle-aged men that they could pull off an earring than Denzel Washington is cocaine. Kate Winslet very similar to cocaine. She is white. She is always with Leonard DiCaprioand I can’t wait to find her at the after party tonight,” Glaser said.

Bob Dylan’s More Savage Joke

Glaser shared a different version of the Timothée Chalamet/Bob Dylan joke she said in the show. “To sound like Bob Dylan, Timothée Chalamet took years of vocal lessons because, apparently, that’s how long it takes to learn to smoke 40,000 cigarettes. Timothée took lessons in guitar, dialect shifting and voice to become Bob Dylan, while Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan the old fashioned way – heroin and autism,” Glaser said, leading Stern to laugh. “Undiagnosed, but come on now, lots of songs about trains.”

‘Bad’ x ‘Queer’
“Daniel Craig is nominated for his performance in Queerwhich is a movie and not just what my uncle Chuckie calls it Wicked,” she cooed.

She saved Nic
“Nicolas Cage who is here tonight looking good after a night of sleeping in Elvis’ coffin,” Glaser said, leading to more laughter from Stern. “Nicolas Cage is here, and so is the band of skeletons that follow him playing Ragtime jazz.”

Roast ‘Rust’

“You know I know this isn’t nice,” Glaser began before launching into the joke: “Michael Keaton was so great Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice a Alec Baldwinunfortunately, he never came back to play ghost because he was too busy doing them.” She added that the joke was “too mean” and she didn’t want it “retraumatize” Baldwin.

Tab Into Politics
“The film Anora is nominated for four awards tonight. It has been called the most unflinching look at sex work since Matt Gaetzpayment history,” Glaser joked.

Final Shot
“Squid Games is a show where people starve themselves while competing mercilessly for the ultimate prize. Oh, wait, no, sorry that’s this show,” he said. “I saw Joker 2 and, you know, it reminded me of when the first one Joker it came out and I was in the theaters and I was afraid that someone was going to shoot up. And then during joker 2, I really hoped they would.”