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James Van Der Beek reflected on how difficult the past year has been after he is diagnosed with phase 3 colorectal cancer
The actor, 48, shared how his health struggle caused him to question his value and place and describe how his cancer has affected his wife and family via recent Instagram video.
(Van Der Beek has been Married to his wife Kimberley Since 2010 and the couple share six children: Olivia, 14, Joshua, 13, Annabel, 11, Emilia, 8, Gwendolyn, 6, Jeremiah, 2.)
“It’s been the hardest year of my life and I wanted to share something I learned with Y’all,” Van der Beek started in the video posted to mark his 48th birthday. “When I was younger I used to define myself as an actor, who was never really satisfied. And then I became a man and that was much better. And then I became a father and that was the end. “
Van der Beek explained that defining himself as “a loving, capable, strong, supportive, father, provider, steward of the country” is important to him. According to Van Der Beek, his cancer threw that solid definition that caught so dear.
“And then this year, I had to look my own deaths in the eye. I came to a nose with death, ”he said. “All those definitions I made so deeply were removed from me. I was off for treatment so I couldn’t be a husband who was helpful for my wife anymore. We can no longer be a father who could raise his children and put them to bed and be there for them.
He continued: “I couldn’t be a provider because I didn’t work. I couldn’t even be a steward of the country because at times I was too weak to dock all the trees during the window you are supposed to trim. “
Van der Beek went on to explain that he was struggling to tackle thinking about the question, “Who am I?”
“So I was facing the question, if I were here to be an overly, weak man, on my own, in a flat with cancer, what am I?” the Creek Dawson Reflected alum.
Eventually, Van der Beek concluded that he was still worthy of self-love despite the circumstances of his life changing.
“I reflected and the answer came through. I am worthy of God’s love, just because I exist. And if I am worthy of God’s love, should I not be worthy of myself? ”He said.
Van Der Beek first revealed his cancer diagnosis in November 2024.
“I’ve been dealing in private with this diagnosis and have been taking steps to resolve it, with the support of my amazing family,” he explained at the time. “There’s a reason for optimism, and I’m feeling well.”