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Raising a child in today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world, this is no small feat. While many parents focus on grades and extracurriculars, one of the most overlooked skills is emotional intelligence.
Not only does this help children succeed socially; it helps them grow elasticsympathetic, and successful adults who can confidently handle challenges, develop meaningful relationships, and lead fulfilling lives.
So what do parents who raise emotionally intelligent children do differently? Years later studying over 200 parent-child relationships — and from practicing healthy habits with my own child — I discovered seven powerful strategies these parents adopted early on.
1. They understood the power of silence
They gave their child the space to process their feelings and trust their inner voice. When their child was upset, they would sit quietly next to each other, comforting without words. Silence can help children better navigate and reflect on their emotions.
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2. They named emotions (mostly their own) early and often
By verbally sharing feelings—such as “I’m disappointed” or “I’m happy”—they taught their children emotional awareness and gave them words to express themselves. This helped their children to see emotions as normal and to share them openly rather than repressing them.
3. They apologized to their child
They showed their child that mistakes are a part of life and responsibility is strength. An apology built trust and showed respect, making their child feel valued. It also modeled empathy and taught them how to rebuild relationships.
4. They didn’t force “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me.”
It may sound unconventional, but they knew that kindness and respect cannot be forced. Instead, they modeled the behavior, trusting the child to learn from their own example. When their child forgot to say thank you, the parents said it for them, confident that the lesson would stick with time.
It takes a lot of courage! But as a parenting coach, I have never told my 6-year-old to say “please” or “thank you.” Now he says it himself all the time—because he hears me say it.
5. They didn’t ignore small worries
They took their child’s concerns seriously, whether it was a lost toy or trouble with a friend. By validating their feelings, they showed the child that emotions matter. It fostered a sense of self-worth, emotional safety and respect for their experiences.
6. They didn’t always offer solutions
The best way to teach decision making is to encourage children to make their own decisions. Instead of fixing the problems, they asked, “What do you think we should do?” It helped develop critical thinking, confidence and independence.
7. They embraced boredom
They let their child be sad, which helped them feel comfortable in the silence. It built creativity, self-regulation and problem-solving skills. Their child has learned to enjoy his own company and find joy in simple moments like looking out the car window instead of needing a screen.
How to educate a child’s emotional intelligence
- Model the behavior you want to see: Be open about your emotions, apologize when you make mistakes, and show kindness and empathy in your interactions.
- Check in with your child’s feelings, no matter how small they may seem, and give them a chance to process those emotions without rushing to correct or dismiss them.
- Encourage problem solving by asking open-ended questions rather than providing all the answers.
- Allow them to experience moments of silence or boredom to develop creativity and self-regulation.
Most importantly, focus on building relationships based on respect and trust, because emotional intelligence starts with feeling safe, valued, and understood.
Rome Rauda is a certified conscious parenting coach, mother, and creator RELATED is the first and only parent-child relationship magazine designed to help children develop emotional intelligence and self-esteem. Thanks to her, she changed hundreds of families courses, coaching and tools. Follow her Instagram.
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