Physical Address
304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124
There are two words that so easily slip away when your child is experiencing an emotional event. Maybe they stumbled and fell or fought with a friend. Their face crumbles, and before they even had the opportunity to speak, you say, “You’re ok”.
That sounds comfortable. Take up, even. But this is not the case. How A conscious coach for raising children And in favor of the emotional health of the children, I studied more than 200 children-and I saw how this well-groomed and abused phrase causes long-term damage that most parents never understand.
In fact, because at first it seems so harmless, it is the most dangerous phrase in raising children. That’s why and what to say instead:
1. This teaches children to doubt their emotions.
If the child is noticeably upset and hears “with you all right”, he sends incomprehensible message: What I feel should not be true. Over time, it disables them from their inner emotional world and teaches them to ignore their own instincts.
2. This is invalid their experience if you need you the most.
You can say it with love, but the baby hears, “Your feelings don’t matter.” Dismissal – as if subtle – teaches them that comfort and connection are available only when they are calm and convenient. This is where the emotional suppression begins.
3. This is a short circuit of emotional treatment.
Emotions are designed to move the body. When we interrupt this natural process with premature assurance, we deprive children of the ability to identify, name and regulate our emotions. Instead of creating stability, we build avoidance.
4. It teaches that love is conditional.
Not understanding this, phrases like “you are ok”, “stop crying”, or “don’t be scared”, the conditions of the children believe that they must suppress their emotions to remain accepted. And when love feels conditional, emotional safety – the very basis of mental health – begins to be confused.
5. This can reshape the baby’s stress reaction.
The nervous system develops through repeated experience. If the child is upset and meets with dismissal instead of support, their body learns that expressing emotions is not safe. Over time, this can remake your nervous system to wait for the disconnect that complicates trusted, adjust and feel safe to be fully.
What to say, not “with you all right”
Children do not need to be corrected – they need to feel. And what is more important, they need to know what it is safe feel, especially with you.
Here are the powerful alternatives confirming their inner world and create emotional power:
- “I believe you.”
- “Your feelings make sense.”
- “I’m here with you.”
- “Now you don’t need to be fine.”
- “I saw what happened. How do you feel?”
These phrases make more than soothe. They are strengthened. They teach your baby: Has emotions matter. I can trust myself. I’m not one.
These answers accept the practice. You will still say “all right” sometimes. And that’s too normal. The goal is to practice the conscious upbringing of children: noticing our samples and choices, an instant moment, to respond in ways that create emotional security rather than undermining it.
These points may seem small, but they actually help create a child’s emotional fund. And in a world where anxiety, depression and shutdown are increasing, this is how we protect the mental health of our children – one moment of emotional safety at the same time.
Reem Raouda is a leading voice in the conscious upbringing and creator Basics . It is widely recognized by its insurmountable work on the emotional safety of children and strengthening parental communication. Ffollow her next Instagram.
Want a new career that pays more, more flexible or full? Go through the new Internet Course CNBC How to change your career and be happier at work. Expert teachers will teach you strategies to successfully customize networks, refurbish your resume and confidently go into your dream career. Start today and use the bird start -up coupon for a 30% discount of $ 67 (+taxes and fees) by May 13, 2025.
