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Be recognized as an elastic person feels great. Weathening of the difficult moments that build resistance Less glamorous.
Development of emotional endurance or ability to resist stress or discomfort without allowing negative emotions to overtake you, can help this process feel less debilitating and more like learning and grow, University of Colombia psychologist Becky Kennedy tells CNBC do this.
“The more we understand that disappointment and the fight is actually a sign that we (learning), not a sign that we are doing something wrong, it is much easier,” says Kennedy, a clinical psychologist based in New York, and leading a good inside. “
You can get to this state of understanding by following these three steps, she says:
Keep the visual convenient
In February Instagram ReelKennedy explained that learning was going on between the space of knowledge and not knowing something.
You do not always instantly gain knowledge where you do not have before, and the process of transition from point A to point B may feel unpleasant, Kennedy says. For example, if you start a new job, you will most likely have to learn about new skills, make some mistakes and promote new connections before you start feeling comfortable as it is comfortable.
Kennedy says that the way between knowledge and not knowing something more like a winding line than is direct and narrow – so when you feel frustrating, remind yourself that training takes time. You can do this by drawing or looking at a simple script scheme as this:
Dr. Beck Kennedy’s chart showing the space between knowledge and not knowing.
Ashton Jackson
“The presence of some type of visual for itself is very, very useful,” Kennedy says. “Every time you try to do something new when your voice starts to say, ‘Oh, it’s too hard. I can’t understand it, “visual gives you another story.” I am in the learning space. I exactly where I should be. It’s just difficult. “
Will join a positive self -talk
When you say to yourself, “it’s too hard” or “I’m never going there” you start believing it. Transfer your inner dialogue to something more positive, support and understand, advise Kennedy.
Try to tell yourself something like this, she says, “It feels hard because it is hard. I haven’t understood it yet and I can continue to try. I can do breath and take a break and come back when I’m ready.”
Even if you do not believe what you say to yourself, experiencing movements – in essence, fake until you do – will help, because practice will help you feel more confident over time, she says.
“Self-preservation is very powerful. As we end up feeling something,” this is a combination of feelings and how we talk about ourselves, and we cannot change our feelings, but we can change how we talk to our feelings, “Kennedy says.
A positive self -talk can improve your fight skills and build your mental forces, allowing you to make more effort than you think you are capable of, according to A study of 2020 Posted in the Sports Science and Management magazine. This can increase your internal motivation and even help you enjoy more when the study has shown.
Take a small experiment
Start with small goals Instead of expecting you will soon reach your long -term vision, Kennedy says.
If you set a huge goal and do not give it, you are unlikely to try again soon, she says. If you want to be more active, take a 20 -minute walk three times a week rather than try to get into the gym for an hour every day, for example.
“Take a small experiment that feels uncomfortable for you: I’m going to talk to my boss about the things that are upset. I will talk to my friends,” Kennedy says. “These are small experiments that tell your body:” I am a person who can be in the space of learning and tolerate discomfort. “The more our body learns that we can tolerate this space, the more we can carry it in other fields.”
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