Every Joke Nikki Glaser Has Made About the Beauty and Fashion Industry

Nikki Glaser can easily win over a crowd with his jokes – and his sense of style.

Glaser, 40, who host the Golden Globes 2025 on Sunday, January 5, is known to wear mini dresses, platform heels, glittering ensembles and more when hitting the stage for stand-up performances.

While attending the Golden Globes Red Carpet Presentation on Thursday, January 2, in Beverly Hills, Glaser shined in a custom Off-White suit with a crinkle design. Underneath, she had a black top featuring a cutout over her chest and a bedazzled enclosure.

Apart from looking chic, Glaser keeps it real about the beauty and fashion industry in his jokes. From cracking up about wanting an eyebrow lift to feeling pressured to wear make-up at all times, the comedian never fails to deliver Us laugh

Keep scrolling for Glaser’s best jokes about beauty and fashion:

Plastic Surgery

“I’m going to use the money from tonight (and) I’m going to get an eyebrow lift,” Glaser said in her May 2024 comedy special with Max, Someday You will die. “I know I want this because every time I feel stressed, I say, ‘Oh my God, sneak,'” she said, pulling her face back. “I’ve never felt worse but I’ve never looked better,” she quipped.

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Glaser experienced her own fashion faux pas when appearing on an episode of The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon in May 2021. As she was more or less introduced to the crowd, Glaser opened her arms to say “Hello, Jimmy!” But she accidentally cut the top off her hot pink sparkly blazer.

“My new pocketless dress!” Glaser exclaimed as she crossed her arms, covering up. “That was humiliating, let’s get on with it,” he said, brushing off the incident.

Glaser later took to Instagram to continue the fun on a wardrobe malfunctionwrites, “Nippy Glaser flashed everyone on the show and also my friends who were watching on the other side of my computer. I’m 💀.”

Wearing Makeup

“Without make-up, I look very different. I never get recognized. The other day, I was spotted without make-up and I was raped,” she said in her Max special. “F— you. Do you think Nikki Glaser looks like this?”

Glaser later joked about how much time it takes women to get ready for an event during her period The Hollywood Reporterannual Women in Entertainment speech in December 2024.

“Can we all acknowledge the glam toll on our schedules?” she said to the crowd. “Did everyone start getting ready while it was still dark outside? In fact, I think this very speech I’m giving right now could have been 20 percent better if I hadn’t spent most of yesterday preparing just to feel well enough to read them.”

He continued, “It’s hard to write a speech on the same day you have to get a spray tan, get a fitting, get your nails done and bleach your a——.”

“Let’s remember that this is the part of our job that men don’t really have to do,” she laughed.

Hot Look

Glaser joked about being treated differently when she has makeup on during her period Someday You will die special. In the episode, she shared a funny story about getting free groceries at Trader Joes after a cashier flirted with her when she looked “hot.”

Messy Updos

“The only safe style for a woman now is when you wear your hair up in a high ponytail,” Glaser quipped during a standup in June 2023. “Don’t you dare take that from us.”

She also joked that men are “self buns” now, and she can’t wear her hair in an updo without it becoming a “man bun.”

“You have stolen the most fun, easy style from us. I can’t wear my hair in a bun.”

Rewearing Clothes

Glaser looked colorful in a floral one-shoulder minidress while performing in Florida in January 2024.

“I recycled a @fboyisland dress for you and then I showed up to the show and you all had a black blazer and bootcut jeans. I got it!” She captioned an Instagram post at the time.