Authoritarian against reputable upbringing of children: what’s the difference?

According to Google Trends, the search for “upbringing styles” increased by 400%. And although modern sources of parenting, as a rule, focus on the difference between the delicate upbringing of children, the positive upbringing and upbringing of the lighthouse, it turns out that many Americans are interested in a more traditional style: authoritative.

In fact, the “authoritative” was the most popular style of upbringing in March 2025.

Part of the reason may be because it is often confused with authoritarian education, says pediatrician Dr. Mona Amen. “It’s easy to confuse,” she says.

But the difference between the two styles is bright, and everyone has a very different and short -term effect on children.

Amen describes the authoritarian style of upbringing children as “a tough approach down”, where the father needs a large amount of control and provides low heat.

“There are not many discussions,” she says. “There’s not much cooperation there. So think about the parents who say, ‘Do it because I said so.”

The authoritarian father does not inform the child borders. Instead, they execute the punishment when the child behaves in such a way as not to approve. Punishment often “does not make sense for the situation,” says Amen.

Say, the child has a crisis in the grocery store.

“The authoritarian father would say,” Stop crying. Now we are leaving. We are not going to the park tomorrow, “Amin says.” So there is no confirmation of feelings and there is a threat. “

Although this style can get short -term obedience, it can harm children in the long run. Adults who are brought up in this type of home do not know how to report their feelings and are more prone to anxiety and mental health disorders.

“Experts, including me, believe that it is very harsh and does not produce much positive results,” Amen says.

Development psychologist and author Aliza President claims that even the immediate consequences of authoritarian education are not positive. Children who have grown up in an authoritarian household feel more afraid than related to parents, which can lead to the fact that they put in dangerous situations to avoid honesty.

The older they become, the more serious this habit becomes.

“If they are a teenager, you run the risk that they will rather be in a hospital bed or in the police than you learn that they did something against the rules,” she says.

Real upbringing of children, on the other hand, combines empathy and boundaries.

“There are great expectations, but also high support for these expectations,” Amin says.

If the father expects their child to remove their room and they will not do it, the reaction will not be punished. Instead, it talks to them about why it is important to tidy up, confirming any emotions they have about what they are difficult or burdened, but eventually requires them to complete the movement.

This type of upbringing can take a little more patience in the short -term but long -term consequences.

“Studies show that this is actually a education style that leads to more competent, emotionally adjustable children and adults who better cope with vital stress or stability,” Amen says.

Children tend to feel safer with parents who are reputable not only because there is more empathy, but also because the rules are clearly reported, says President.

“They are guided by the guards that you consider appropriate and safe because you have limits and restrictions, but within these limits and limits there is enough freedom to feel safe to express themselves and be who they are,” she says.

As adults, they then have more agencies because they trust their own opinion. They learned how to regulate their emotions and are able to have the best relationship.

A room that suffers from parents allows the child to make attacks or hysterics, in irony, can make the child more obedient, Present adds: “If you feel loved, who you are, and not for how you behave, you usually behave better in the ultimate.”

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