A teenager cut the netflix drama with concerned parents

“It’s just strange to talk about your sexual feelings before parents,” says 15-year-old Ben*.

His parents, Sophie and Martin, two specialists in the 40s, of course. They discuss the types of use of social media “big problems”, and for Ben their conversation about sex and pornography – “worst”.

The minus family little sister Ben, who is too young to join the debate in his living room to dissect the dramaturgy Netflix Drama Netflix, which they watched the previous evening.

The series stems from the history of the 13-year-old protagonist Jamie, who is accused of killing peers after the impact of a mysooginist internet material and is subjected to cyber-shutters.

Both Ben’s parents are concerned about the behavior of his own son, which affects the material he is exposed, and Ben, who is worried, tries to set restrictions on the phone’s own use.

Given their problems and how they intersect with the topics of adolescence, the family agreed to watch the program together and allowed the BBC News to sit on a discussion that varied with the relevance of Andrew Teyt to whether boys and girls can be friends.

Ben sits on the couch in the living room, scrolling your phone before the conversation.

Parents take their places, looking calm, despite the complex items they are going to discuss. Photos of loved ones spread bookshelves in the living room, and the piano stands on the wall.

Sophie and Martin worked a lot on the creation of a “very open” household, says Sophie, where “all the topics are on the table”. While watching the Sophie, she made a list of things that you can talk to Ben.

A confident and open teenage boy, Ben liked his colleagues in his same-sex high school. But the qualities that make it popular in their peers often bring him into trouble with his teachers who give him detentions or send him to isolation for what his mother calls “inappropriate comments”.

In the show Jamie and his peers use the language related to the “Manasfer” – web -stytes and Internet forums that promote mizagin and counteraction to feminism – and the culture of the ICIL. Incens, short for involuntary celibacy, are men who blame women because they cannot find a sexual partner. This is an ideology This has been due to terrorist attacks and murder in recent years.

It may be strange that “Incel” was not a familiar term for Ben, and his dad Martin had to explain it while watching the program.

“People just call each other” virgins “. I have not heard” Inscel “before,” Ben tells his parents. He believes that the term in recent years can “reset” social media for young people, which reflects the pace with which the conversation is moving on the Internet.

Ben tells her parents, there are elements of the show he acknowledges, including his reflection of fights and cyber -fading at school. But he believes that this is just a “rough picture” of what today is how to be a teenager and that it is mostly done for an “adult who is not on the Internet.”

For example, it neglects to show a good side of social media along with its dangers, and some details – including secret codes of Emodi, one character who claims that children use – the ring false.

It is for this reason that Martin, who says he liked the tense drama, also believes that the show plays in the “worse nightmare” of each parent about the use of his child’s phone, that is, it sometimes contributes to the theatricalization of realism in an attempt to “shake up” adults.

Andrew Teyt, the impact and the central figure of the shadow online world, is mentioned by the name in the drama and raises great concern between parents and teachers. But Ben says while Andrew Tate was “popular” at his school about two years ago, he is now “old news”.

Ben noticed how Tate combines health and well -being with politics. “Some of his things, such as” Exercises an hour-a-day “, is quite fair, it is right. But then it combines it with extreme right ideas, for example,” a man must go out and work, “-says Ben.

Both parents agree that Tate is not guilty of misery. As for them, it is a symptomatic “greater social problem”.

This problem is harsh in the gloomy picture of adolescence paints of male and female friendships in the social media era. The protagonist Jamie has no friends, and it seems to be considering relationships with the opposite sex through the lens of domination and manipulation.

Sophie is concerned that the interaction between boys and girls is far and impersonal in the peer group. Ben says there is no much opportunity to mix with the girls of their age.

And she is worried that her son receives most of her information on how to interact with social media girls. “It’s really twisted,” she says. “They don’t know how to behave around each other.”

She asks her son the question: “If you do not know how to talk to girls when you feel uncomfortable when you like,” Eurgh, I don’t know how to dress “where do you go for help?”

“The Internet,” says Ben.

“So he goes into a full circle,” says his mom. “That’s where they get information.”

Ben is not shy that he “used the chat like two years” to get such a advice. “Or a check,” he adds.

Sophie says Ben learned the most about friendship with the opposite sex while visiting a cousin’s home visiting a mixed school and my friends.

She recalls Ben’s cousin who said it after Ben asked if she attracted his cousin to his girlfriend.

“I don’t remember how he annoyed me, but well,” Ben says.

They discuss their various memories of events until they land on the version they could agree: “His cousin was like:” No, this is my friend. I don’t think about them in this way, ”Sophie says.

“It really was open for him,” she says. Speaking to Ben, she recalls, “You came back from it, and you looked like:” It’s much better (my cousin), girls and boys friends. “

The Netflix drama revealed that Jamie Katie’s victim was subjected to a misogynistic mockery after the classmate of the man shared intimate images without her consent.

Jamie’s discussion about this incident with a child psychologist played by Erin Dagerti is the main episode of the program.

Ben also saw a similar abuse of trust among his peers. “There is a guy nearby, and (the image) of his genitals were traced in a large -scale group chat with many people,” he says. “It was a big thing on Tiktok.”

The series starts with an episode in which police asks Jamie about sexual images of adult women he shared on his Instagram page, hinting at the ease with which young teens can access pornography.

It feels familiar with Ben, who believes that porn is the “biggest problem” among his peers. He knows the boys who “admire” to this: “They count on it. In my year there are people who will have such a bad day if they don’t look.”

Ben moves a little while talking about pornography, looking at the wall or fighting with his phone.

It seems more comfortable to talk about other forms concerning the content that young people get online.

He believes that “every 10” video he watches on his phone contains unpleasant materials, including the scene of extreme violence. And Ben’s parents have no illusions that their son is “safe” just because he is upstairs on his computer – unlike Jamie’s parents in the show.

For Martin and Sophie, the decision is to give children the best opportunities to “participate” in society and create their own self -esteem.

They say they also strive for their son to have a “wide range” of male imitation examples. Ben, who stopped several times to check his phone during the discussion, again joined the conversation.

He is animated in his praise for his sports coaches, whose “really strong moral” he admires.

Parents nod obviously satisfied with their enthusiasm. They say they seduce their son’s life in an attempt to remove it from your phone. But, they say, it is expensive and put the poor students in a disadvantage.

Sophie says about the protagonist of the show Jami: “He has no sports. He doesn’t feel good. His dad looks when he doesn’t work.”

Sophi says that children with disabilities build their self -esteem more “vulnerable” to predatory messages of mysoginist influences.

Both parents agree with the technology companies, government, schools and families responsible for the offer to young people with a convincing alternative to the Siren call for the monasfer.

They insist that parents can’t do it on their own. As Sophie says, “This is a tsunami, and someone gave me an umbrella.”

Ben believes that what is happening on the Internet is too often released by adults as insignificant for the real world. He believes this is a mistake; Social media should be considered “as a real life – because it is a real life,” he says.

*All names in this article were changed.