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Southeast Asia Correspondent
As Thailand’s long-awaited marriage equality law comes into force on Thursday, police officer Pisit “Q” Sirihirunchai is hoping to be first in line to marry his longtime partner Chanathip “Jane” Sirihirunchai.
About 180 same-sex couples register their unions in one of Bangkok’s largest shopping malls. An event that city officials helped organize to mark this legal milestone.
“We’ve been ready for so long,” Pisit says. “We were just waiting for the law to catch up with us and back us up.”
The men have been together for seven years. Wanting to formalize their relationship, they already went to a Buddhist monk to give them a new surname – Sirihirunchai. They also asked local officials to issue a letter of intent, which they both signed, committing to marry.
But they say having their union recognized under Thai law is what they really dreamed of. This means that LGBTQ+ couples now have the same rights as any other couple to engage and marry, manage property, inherit and adopt children.
They can make treatment decisions if their partner becomes ill and incapacitated, or provide financial benefits – such as the Pisita State Pension – to their spouse.
“We want to build a future together — build a house, open a small business together, maybe a coffee shop,” he adds, listing everything the law allows. “We want to build our future together and take care of each other.”
Prissit says he has the full support of his colleagues at the police station and hopes he can encourage others in the public service to be open about their sexuality: “They should feel confident because they see us coming out without repercussions, only positive. answers”.
As a young couple, Prisit and Chanatip – both in their 30s – faced fewer obstacles than those who came out much earlier.
But it’s been a long road for their community. Despite Thailand’s well-known tolerance for LGBTQ+ people, activists say it took a long campaign to gain legal recognition.
“We’ve been waiting for this day for 18 years, the day when everyone can recognize us openly, when we don’t have to dodge or hide anymore,” says Rungtiwa Thankanapast, 59, who will marry her partner of 18 years in May.
She was married, arranged by her family, to a gay man who later died. She had a daughter through IVF, but after her husband’s death she started spending time and later helped run one of Bangkok’s first lesbian pubs. Then she met Fanlawi, who is now 45 and goes by just her first name.
On Valentine’s Day 2013, two women went to the Bang Rak district office in central Bangkok to ask for a formal marriage – a popular place for marriage registrations because the name means “city of love” in Thai.
This was the time when LGBTQ+ couples began to challenge the official view of marriage as an exclusively heterosexual partnership by trying to obtain marriage licenses at district offices.
About 400 heterosexual couples were waiting for them that day. Rungtiwa and Phanlawi were rejected, and the Thai media ridiculed their efforts, using derogatory slang for lesbians.
Nevertheless, the activists managed to convince the government to think about changing the marriage law. A proposed civil partnership bill has been brought before parliament, offering some formal recognition to same-sex couples, but not the same legal rights as heterosexual couples.
A military coup in 2014 that overthrew the elected government interrupted the movement. It would be another ten years before full marriage equality was approved by Parliament, in part due to the rise of young, progressive political parties that championed the cause.
Their message resonated with Thais – and attitudes changed too. By now, same-sex marriage has been legalized in many Western countries, and same-sex love has become normalized in Thai culture as well.
The shift in favor of the law was such that it was passed last year by a huge majority of 400 votes to just 10 against. Even in the notoriously conservative Senate, only four opposed the bill.
And couples like Rungtiwa and Fanleeva now have a chance to confess their love for each other without the risk of public ridicule.
“With this law, our family becomes legitimate,” says Rungtiwa, “we are no longer considered weird just because our daughter is not being raised by heterosexual parents.”
The new law removes gender terms such as man, woman, husband and wife from the 70 sections of the Thai Civil Code dealing with marriage and replaces them with neutral terms such as person and husband.
However, Thailand’s legal code still has dozens of laws that have yet to become gender neutral, and there are still obstacles in the way of same-sex couples using surrogacy to start a family.
Parents are still defined by Thai law as mother and father. The law also does not yet allow people to use their gender in official documents; they are still stuck in their gender at birth. These are the areas where activists say they will still need to keep pushing for change.
Still, it’s a historic moment for Thailand, which is breaking out in Asia in recognizing marriage equality. And this is especially important for older couples who have had to go through changes in their relationship.
“I really hope that people will move away from the old stereotypes that gay people can’t have true love,” says Chakrit “Ink” Wadhanweera.
He and his partner Prin, both 40, have been together for 24 years.
“The two of us have proven that we truly love each other in every way for more than 20 years,” says Chakrit. – We were ready to take care of each other from the first day together. We are no different from heterosexuals. couples”.
While Chakrit’s parents quickly accepted their partnership, it took Prin’s parents seven years before they were able to do so.
The couple also wanted to share the manufacturing business they ran together and other assets as a couple, so they asked Prynne’s parents to officially adopt Chakrit, giving him the same last name. Prin says the new law has brought much-needed legal clarity to them.
“For example, now if a same-sex couple buys something together — a large item — they can’t split ownership of it,” Prine said. “And one of us dies, what we both earned together cannot be passed on to the other. That’s why marriage equality is so important.”
Today, Prin says, both parents treat them the same way they treat other married children.
And when they, like any couple, had problems in their relationship, their parents helped them.
“My dad even started reading gay magazines to understand me better. It was very sweet to see.”
Additional reporting by Thanyarat Dokson and Rin Jirenuwat in Bangkok